


Double Suicide

by Marilyn_Lucille



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-03-09 18:30:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18922657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marilyn_Lucille/pseuds/Marilyn_Lucille
Summary: When Dean Winchester makes yet another self sacrificing deal, Castiel is determined to end the cycle for the Winchesters once and for all.





	Double Suicide

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments! <3  
> This was written in a rush, but I found it worthy of sharing.

Castiel shoved Dean, putting space between them.

“How could you do this to me?’ He shouted.

“I can’t live on this earth without you, Dean. I don’t _want_ to live in this universe without you.”

Dean’s face fell at the worlds his friend spoke. He crossed his arms around himself.

“I couldn’t stand the thought of knowing that my angel would be gone from the world, Cas. My time is up. Hell, my time has been up since about the time I can remember. I’ve lived nightmares all of my life.” He paused and made eye contact with Castiel.

“But the ONE thing I can’t fathom is a life without you in it. So, I’d rather be dead. It’s just as much about losing you as sacrificing myself. Nothing in heaven or hell could be worse than being stuck in this world without you.”

 

Dean took Castiel’s face in his hands.

“I love you too much to watch you die.”

Unexpectedly, Castiel jerked away from Dean’s embrace with anger painted on his face.

“And I love you too much to think of life without you! In fact, I refuse to.”

Castiel unveiled his angel blade and continued to speak.

“If you go, I go.” He said, pointing the knife hard against his heart.

 

“Don’t you dare do that to me!” Dean said angrily.

“I will be reaped with a one way ticket upstairs. It’s your job to stay here and protect my brother.”

Castiel sighed heavily and clenched his jaws.

“Screw Sam. I love your brother, but _you_ are _my_ brother. My brother, my best friend, and so so so much more.”

Dean rolled his eyes.

“Don’t bring _that_ in to it, Cas.”

“Oh, so now we’re just going to pretend that we aren’t in love?”

Dean scratched the back of his neck and looked into the distant moonlight.

“Why the fuck do you think I’m doing this deal, Cas?”

Castiel looked down, dark hair falling in his face as he shook his head in defeat.

“All I’m saying is that, if you go I won’t be far behind.”

Dean glared at his friend.

“You’re going to stab yourself in the heart if I do this, really?!”

“Call off the deal, or yes I will.”

“You’re really something else, Cas.” Dean stated with a desperate chuckle that held no amusement.

“I can’t go if you won’t stay here.”

 

“Then, by all means, stay.” The angel said simply.

“It’s already a done deal.” Dean said, giving a fake cough to hide that he was holding back tears.

“I’m tired of these stupid deals you make, Dean Winchester.”

 

“We’re ending things my way, or I will find a way to break that deal, and that deal will then be put on the next Winchester—Sam. I don’t want to hurt Sam, but I will if it means you remain…”

“Cas, I do love you, but don’t you dare threaten to harm a hair on my brother’s head.”

 

“That’s why we’re going to do it my way.”

Dean narrowed his eyes even lower at his lover.

“And what, exactly, is ‘your’ way, Cas?”

“Well, now that I have your attention, maybe you’ll hear me out.” Castiel said, lowering his blade.

Dean heaved a sigh of relief and stared at Castiel, who promptly looked away.

 

“Rowena owed me a favor…” Castiel began as he reached inside his wrinkled, worse-for-wear trench coat. He pulled out two small vials.

“So, I’m being reaped and you go to Rowena? What the hell, man?” Dean extended his arms in the air.

“It’s simple. If you and I drink this at exactly the same time, we get reaped at exactly the same time. Both of us get a ticket upstairs, where we can remain together forever.”

Dean huffed.

“And what about Sammy? Who’s going to take care of him?” Dean asked, clearly still pissed.

Again, Castiel mentioned Rowena.

“She has already cast a protection spell over him. His body is warded. I can even wipe his memories and get him out of the hunting business. He could go back to school like he’s always wanted to do. I can give him a life of satisfaction, where grief and monsters don’t exist.”

Dean’s expression softened.

“You can offer him a safe life, away from all of this? All of the danger, a new start?”

“Yes, I can.” Castiel spoke smoothly, finally meeting eyes with Dean.

“He could finally be happy and die an old man, warm in his bed.”

Dean’s eyes welled up with tears.

“I’ve only ever wanted him safe.” The hunter admitted, clearing his throat gruffly as if it could hide his emotion.

“I trust you, Cas, but I want to see this happen before I make any promises. I want to know Rowena won’t go back on her word.”

“She has already implemented the protection spell. It is strong magic, ancient and beyond powerful. Sam has an… aura, if you will, of protection. The only thing left for me to do is to get him to a safe place, erase you from his memory, and place thoughts in his mind on what to do with his life.”

“Your mind melding crap is creepy.” Dean observed out loud.

“Yes, although it is effective, and you can’t say it isn’t a good plan. You know it is.” Castiel said firmly.

Am I wrong?” The angel eyed him.

“You’re not wrong. As much as I want him in my life, I would rather he be safe. I’d rather he have a normal life. And if that means no me, then I say we do it.”

“You know that means saying goodbye to him—forever this time—for certain.” Castiel said with weary sadness. It was clear how terribly this would hurt Dean.

“Yes, I know.” Dean said, holding his quivering chin up high, showing pride, confidence and heart break all at once.

 

“Let’s do this. It’s only a few hours before midnight.” Dean said in a dead tone.

Castiel walked cautiously toward Dean. He reached out his hand to him, Dean took hold of his hand and the two basked in the comfort of each other’s touch.

 

“This is going to be the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, Cas.” Dean spoke, no longer holding the tears back as they fell from his face.

Castiel lightly jerked Dean into a hug and kissed the taller man on the cheek.

“I know it is. But I’ll be right beside you, come what may.”

They walked together toward the bunker. Dean stopped for a moment and Castiel did the same. Dean observed the clear, starry sky. “Is it this pretty up there?” Dean asked, pointing a finger towards the heavens. “It is this and so, so much more.” Castiel mused.

 

The two of them entered the bunker shortly after their walk and headed towards the room of the clueless Sam Winchester.

 

When they reached the door to Sam’s bedroom, Dean tightened his hand around Castiel’s to the point of causing pain. Castiel didn’t flinch, but gave Dean a look of reassurance.

Dean nodded with an unspoken understanding, took a deep breath, and knocked lightly on Sam’s bedroom door.

Sam answered the door with a smile, but his face fell when he looked into Dean’s teary eyes.

Sam curved his head to the side and, as if he knew how badly Dean needed it, hugged his brother affectionately before asking what was wrong.

Dean looked to Castiel for advice. Castiel nodded toward his lover’s brother, encouraging Dean to say the goodbye he needed to say. Castiel took few feet back, letting the brothers have their space.

Dean looked into Sam’s eyes, meeting his intensely worried stare.

“Sammy, I want you to know that I love. I’ve loved you since Mom first handed you to me, and I’ll love you for the rest of eternity. You will _always_ be my baby brother, and I will _always_ protect you.”

“I love you too, Dean. But what’s this all about? Why are you guys here so late?”

Sam’s eyes darted from Dean to Castiel.

Dean thought for a short moment about telling Sam the whole story, but felt it was better left unsaid. He didn’t want the last time he saw his brother to be even more painful than it already was.

“What can I say?” Dean said, trying hard to hide his heartache and make what was happening seem casual.

“Cas has turned me into a chick flick moments kinda guy.” He said with a wink and chuckle that was well played off.

“Now,” Dean said, clearing his throat. “Get your ass over here and give me another hug before I change my mind.” Sam did as Dean said. Dean clung tightly to his brother. He began to walk out of the room, leaving Sam clearly bewildered.

Dean paused to whisper in Castiel’s ear.

“Do it now.” He said, in a deadly voice while holding back a sob.

Castiel smiled convincingly at Sam and advanced toward him.

Dean stood in the hall and peeked through the crack of the door that he’d deliberately left open.

He watched with silent tears rolling down his face as Castiel placed a hand over Sam’s forehead to wipe the memory of his existence away. Dean could hear Castiel lowly mumbling what he assumed to be direction for Sam on how to live his new, carefree life.

 

Then, with a soft whoosh of wings flapping, they both disappeared.

 

Dean went straight to his own room sobbing softly. He pondered what life would be like in heaven. All he knew was that he’d have Cas—the only person he’d ever truly been in love with. That thought eased his pain; because, wherever Castiel was, Dean was content to be.

 

Only thirty minutes later, Castiel returned to find Dean sitting in his bedroom floor, rocking back and forth clutching an old Polaroid in his hands, with many other photographs, aged and new, scattered in front of him.

Castiel moved gently as he grazed the top of Dean’s head, affectionately running his fingers through the younger man’s hair, which was something that the angel had long ago found soothed his love.

“Look how tiny he was…” Dean murmured in a low, pitiful tone as he handed the photo to Castiel.

“It was the first time I held him… he was only a few hours old.”

Castiel smiled sadly at the photo. He sat Indian style in front of Dean and grasped his hands.

“Is he safe?” Dean croaked out, his bloodshot eyes boring into Castiel’s.

 

“He is safe. He is happy. He is at Pembroke, moving into an apartment, where right next door lives a pretty brunette named Teresa.

“England…” Dean smiled through the rain of tears on his face.

“Who would’ve thought...?”

“Well…Rowena thought, actually.” Castiel revealed.

Dean gave another weak smile. Castiel broke one hand free and wiped Dean’s face with his palm.

“She won’t leave him, Dean. We sat him up a new identity, a new past, a new future, a new everything.”

 

Castiel stood and extended a hand to Dean.

“Come up here and lay with me.” He requested.

Dean accepted the angel’s hand and followed him to their bed.

They laid on their sides facing each other. Dean’s tears subsided as Castiel consistently wiped them away, one after the other, until finally his reddened eyes began to clear. Castiel smiled at him.

 

“Wait!” Dean exclaimed, his forehead wrinkling as he propped himself up on one arm in a frenzy.

Castiel’s body jolted in with the unexpected shout from Dean.

“Please tell me he has Baby, at least.”

Castiel couldn’t help the upturn of his lips as he responded.

“Of course Sam has your car, Dean. In his new life, his deceased father left her in his care. He will always have that part of you.”

Dean seemed to have an inkling of satisfaction at that.  He laid back down and traced Castiel’s face with his hand.

“Eight minutes.” Castiel said in an overly calm voice as he eyed the clock above the door.

Dean’s eyes closed and he shook slightly.

“Dean Winchester, I know you’re not afraid?”

Dean refused to look up.

“This WILL work. We WILL be together forever. If you’ve ever trusted me, trust that.” Castiel said firmly.

“I trust you, Cas.”

“No more pain, hunter.” He whispered, squeezing Dean’s hand.

“No more suffering. For any of us.” Dean said agreeably, squeezing back.

 

Dean turned to observe the time.

“Exactly three minutes.” He said in disbelief.

The two men gazed at each other.

Dean pulled Castiel into a soft kiss, experiencing his plump, honey tasting lips, and the two held one another briefly, until Castiel pulled away. He reached into his coat to yet again retrieve the two vials with yellow colored liquid in them.

“It is time.” He said somberly, handing Dean one vial. He uncorked his own and watched Dean do the same.

Both men lay flat on their back. In each of their hand was an open vial of poison, their free hands were linked together.

“Death do us not part.” Dean spoke.

“Death will not part us.” Castiel assured with tears forming in his eyes.

“Don’t cry, Angel. We’ll lay like this forever.” Dean said with a small smile.

“In ten seconds…” Castiel began to count down.


End file.
